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  • Amanda Love

Stable Being

STABLE BEING

Unaffected by the storm


Many of us desire stability in our state of being. To feel good, relaxed, rested, while being attentive, present and aware. To not get caught, pulled or hung up on the things of life. It can seem at times that we are constantly getting drug down in one way or another by the stuff of life, all the doings, details and coming and goings. It can feel like a mystery as to how to be stably rested despite all of the physical and mental activity that ensues.


One of the prime awarenesses that we must develop of ourselves is how ahead of ourselves we get. When our to do lists get long, our activity calendars get filled up, or life is a seeming crazy, chaotic mess we often get swept into the furry. We are no longer the eye of the storm, but become part of the storm itself. We leave our center behind us and focus on some illusionary future that has yet to come into existence outside of our thinking about it. Our experience becomes one of unstable, frantic exhaustion as we are attempting to keep up the pace with what we think the pace should be.


Most of the time when we are in the storm we don’t even realize that we’ve lost our center. We only know that we feel tired, disconnected, not joyful or not as present as we would like to be. We are on the treadmill of life trying to get to some destination, working up a ginormous sweat, but never actually going anywhere. We also don’t realize, from the perspective of the storm, that we are choosing our experience. Rather we feel that our experience is happening to us and that there is nothing that we can do about it. We therefore spend a lot of time and energy not being at peace. Constantly wanting things to be done, different, better, or somehow other than they are. This underlying desire to arrive, for some semblance of organization, peace, rest or completion, propels us in this seeming forward aiming direction from beginning to end. It is a tireless journey, particularly if our focus is on getting any part of it done and over.


In order for us to find stability of being we must ultimately become unaffected by the storm. The degree to which we are affected by the storm is the degree to which we will be unstable in our state of being. Many people like to go on the ride, get charged up, take stances, fight causes, be right, not give up what we think we want, not feel defeat or disappointment, not feel un-resolve, and on and on. The result is that we are often off center, not really present and feel like we are the wave that comes up and crashes down rather than realizing we are the water that makes up the wave. If we realized we are the water, that we are the substance that makes up the wave to begin with, we would be at much peace and resolve.


MAKING PEACE WITH EVERYTHING

Not minding what happens


One of my favorite quotes comes from Jiddu Krishnamurti and it goes, “Here is my secret: I don’t mind what happens.” If you really take this quote in, you will see just how far reaching it is. You will also discover all of the places where you do mind what happens and hence all of the places that will take you out of your center, stable being. See when we decide, think or insist that something be other than it is or be any particular way at all we suffer. It is really that simple. Suffering is a state of being, which most of us do not prefer. In fact the preferred state of being for most is connectedness. However due to the fact that most do not want to let go of what they think they want or desire, they by default choose to be unstable in their state of being. They choose to be swayed, to be pulled, to be the wave rather than the water.


What would your life and world experience be like if you made peace with everything right now? I am not suggesting that you don’t feel what you feel, but rather that you make peace with whatever it is you feel. I am not suggesting that you don’t have desires, but rather that you find peace with whatever your desires want to look like. Without making peace with what is here now in this moment you will be hijacked by your thoughts and feelings that want it to be different.


People think they want stable being. In fact I’d say this is the crux of the spiritual journey, but what I’ve found that most really want is life to feel and look like what they want it too. They want this rather than peace now, because they falsely believe that when life feels and looks like they want it to then they will be happy and experience a sense of perfect completeness. I am pretty certain that as an experience this never arrives at some future place, but yet we are persistent in believing that it does. We think it couldn’t possibly be found inside the mess we currently perceive things to be, but only in the perfect, clean clarity that lives elsewhere. This is why we are all on this treadmill, going nowhere, but trying really hard to get somewhere.


What would it take for you to make peace now? What would be required? This is important to ask yourself and to know what stands in between you and peace, or in between you and stable being. Through asking yourself this question you will begin to see that you are in charge of your state of being. It is not dependent on any circumstances or conditions. It doesn’t matter what is going on in the world at large, in your relationships, in your inner world, in your body, on how much sleep you had, what food you ate or anything else. Your state of being is dependent only on your choosing of it and your willingness to not mind what happens. Here you will find stable state of being. You will be unmoved by the stuff of life and will be responding only to your own inner alignment and choice for peace and presence now. Your experience of life is then rested wakeful presence and attunement with this moment.


Dr. Amanda Love

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