Distinction of acceptance & surrender
Many people talk about their “need to surrender” as if its another thing on their to do list to get done that they keep procrastinating. There’s an idea that surrender is this thing that you do once, or maybe a few times, in regards to a particular situation you find yourself within. Most think that if they could just surrender or let go then their torment will end. Within this mode of their thinking there is an inherent sense of powerlessness. “If I could just let go” implies feeling choice-less and thus disempowered. What many people are pointing to when they say that they need to surrender is really that they want to feel empowered and realize their choice in their situation rather than feeling like a victim of it or like its just happening to them.
This above described situation is really a call for acceptance rather than surrender. These terms mean different things though many people use them interchangeably. Acceptance is accepting what is present. This means accepting rather than fighting or resisting a situation that is currently present. Acceptance is accepting what is known, what occurred, or what is here. If we find ourselves in situations that we don’t fully like, that seem like something we don’t want, or that feel overwhelming or jarring to us, we typically don’t want to accept the situation as it is. The reason for this not wanting to accept what is, is because underneath all the competent facades and masks that people wear, they feel largely disempowered and incapable of being able to work with what is present. Due to this underlying feeling of disempowerment there develops an unwillingness to want to accept what is and instead we go into trying to manage or control the situation, or we feel collapsed and helpless about it. This is how the traditional fight, flight or freeze protective/fear responses show up in our lives and keep us defensive rather than empowered.
Learning acceptance of what is, is fundamental to feeling empowered and recognizing your choice in whatever situations you find yourself within. Acceptance, will in a way, force you into experiencing your power. It opens the door into your capacity to see your choices. With this we often find ourselves stepping into situations needing to show up differently rather than expecting the situation to change. This can be uncomfortable, which again is another reason we don’t want to accept what is, but ultimately it is what helps us realize our power and shift our underlying baseline feelings of disempowerment and victimhood.
Working as intelligent energy
Surrender has become such a popular term yet so few are actually experiencing what it is to live surrendered. Surrender is not just this thing you do when you are at your whits end, feeling helpless and you don’t know what else to do. In fact in my experience you must feel pretty empowered and know your worth in order to begin to truly taste surrender. Surrender is an entire way of being and living. As acceptance is an end of resistance to the known, surrender is an end of resistance to the unknown. As acceptance is often a doorway into self-empowerment, surrender is a doorway into self-realization. Self-empowerment is owning your personal value and worth, where self-realization is knowing yourself beyond the person. Both self-empowerment and self-realization are important in terms of knowing your ultimate self and being able to live that here in this physical-relational world.
Surrender requires that we use something beyond thought to navigate life. Rather than think-doing, which is how most people operate, surrendered living requires that we open into emptiness of thought, or empty the known. Not being in resistance to the known is quite helpful for this and is why acceptance is often a preliminary skill set to living surrendered. When we empty the known, yet simultaneously have unwavering confidence in the unknown (some people call this faith), then rather than thought moving you, soul moves you. You could also substitute the words love, light, or god for soul. It is an essence that is beyond what you as the identified thinker/person know. In a way that thinker/person gets dis-abled, or unable to be used in its traditional mechanism, and something beyond what you’ve identified as you takes the reigns. It moves your body-mind, it knows. It knows exactly what to do without it going through your thoughts to figure it out first. Your mind is still present its just not running the show in any way whatsoever.
Living surrendered is to be overtaken by soul, by that intelligent energy-awareness that knows, which is really just you from a wider perspective. Not everyone truly wants this now, nor is it relevant for everyone at this time. Yet it is part of the developmental progression of beingness and at some point along the path its relevance will find everyone. It is ultimately inescapable. When its relevance does find you and you begin to taste surrender its like living magic. The need for your mind to figure it all out decreases dramatically. You realize the limitations of the mind and that you are not it. You feel less and less separate. There are no more boxes. Being with another is like being with yourself. Your body-mind is just moved. The more and more your soul consumes you the more you realize that you are it and that you’ve never been this mind-personality-body ever. You re-identify as soul, light, love, god.
Things still happen, movement occurs, it is incredibly active and simultaneously still. The perfect orchestration is revealed moment by moment as there is nothing that has to be other that what is. There is full relinquishment of any personal agendas or will as you see yourself and know yourself, as soul, as Creator, as the One. You are submerged in the mystery; willingly, gracefully and lovingly, dancing and moving to its rhythms.
Amanda Hessel, Aligned as Love