End of Avoidance
End of Avoidance
Leaning into your discomforts
There is an overarching tendency to push away parts of our experience that are unpleasant or that we don’t like or prefer. Many of us are not even aware that we are pushing away certain parts of our experience instead we just know that we don’t like what is and that we are in some way uncomfortable, whether physically or psychologically. This tendency to avoid, push away or get rid of certain parts of our experience makes for a state of inner resistance also known as suffering. Some of us suffer loudly while others do so silently, so silently that they hardly even notice it themselves.
Most people have a belief that when all of their experiences are pleasant or their personal preferences are all actualized then they will experience peace and happiness. The thing is that experiences constantly change and come and go. In one moment all of your preferences may be actualized and in the next moment you may find yourself not preferring what is happening at all. Due to the fact that nearly all people base their state of being on circumstances this means that you feel happy and peaceful when your life experiences line up with what you prefer and unhappy when they do not.
Your experiences only determine your state of being in the ways that you allow them to, but in order for you to consciously choose your state of being you must first be in full acceptance of what is. If you are pushing any aspect of your experience away you are not in the driver’s seat of your life. Instead you are victim to that which you refuse to accept and your creative options for moving with or adapting to life are extremely limited.
Remember what we refuse to accept is often subtle or completely unseen by us. These blinds spots are often experienced as a sense of disconnection, lack of presence or energy, or seeking out distractions without the seeming ability to refocus. Other ways in which our blind spots are experienced are through rationalization or making logical that which is happening or attempting to turn our experiences into something pleasant or pleasurable. One way of doing this is by pasting something on top of our experience while still not being in full acceptance of what is underneath. When you are in full acceptance of your experience as it is there is no need to paste anything on top of it or make it different in any way. This doesn’t mean that your experience won’t change, it may or may not, but your inner resistance will have ended and you therefore feel a sense of inner peace no matter what the circumstances are in that moment.
Beginning of Peace
Embracing of all
The fastest way to peace is radical acceptance of what is. Peace does not mean all external things (including your own body) are pleasant, kind, and quiet. It simply means that your mind is. This is how you come to know the unshakable, undisturbed nature of your very own beingness. There is also a distance of sorts that gets created between you and your experiences or circumstances. You are no longer fused or merged with them and due to this your perception is expanded and you are able to see that which you were previously blind too. It is only here that we can gain true clarity.
Another thing begins to happen at this point of un-fusing or un-merging with our experiences; we realize that our preferences are not so important. This doesn’t mean that it isn’t still nice when our preferences are what we are experiencing, but we also realize that they don’t have to be, and either way whatever shows up we are happy and peaceful.
When we sink into discomfort the rewards are so great. We liberate ourselves. We become autonomous. We come to know our true self. There really is no reward greater. The nature of love is all embracing and all including. When we resist or push something out of love’s all embracing nature we suffer because we are going against the fundamental truth of our nature as we are love. I know it seems hard at times to accept those things (experiences, sensations, feelings, etc.) which we don’t prefer or that we even judge as wrong, bad or should be different than they are, but the larger truth is that everything should be exactly as it is. When you fully get this you embody your power and you embody love.
What is also realized at this point is that your truest preference is not to have all the external situations or circumstances turn out or be a certain way, including the sensations and experience of your body, what your true preference is, is to know yourself and be yourself. In knowing yourself and being yourself you express love perfectly and can’t help see the perfection of the divine folding and unfolding all around through your circumstances and experiences.
Know that at times we forget this. Also know that all experiences are intentioned to bring us back into this remembering. If you find yourself in resistance, not wanting to feel the discomfort of something or a lack of your preference being experienced, remind yourself that you can use this very experience to remember your true nature as love. Know that just as easily as you can resist an experience you are having you can equally accept it. There is no special skill you need to learn in order to accept, you just simply do it. You stop insisting on wrongness, badness and your personal preference for something else, and you drop into what is here now. In that moment connection is re-established. You find and feel home inside of you again and just like that you begin to have a different relationship with all of your experiences that show up thereafter.
Amanda Hessel, Aligned as Love