Harmony with self & other
Attunement seems to be a rarity in today’s age. To attune is to bring harmony or tune with another’s rhythms and their emotional/spiritual well-being. When one is attuning with, or attuned to another, there is a sense of connectedness between the two and of being met and seen. Most people very much desire attunement because when they are attuned to they know that someone else is present, paying attention, invested, and involved. It allows the person to relax and not have to fight for the presence of another. Yet in today’s world we are ensued in the world of distraction. We are hyper-focused on our phones, social media, email, news, and all of the noise it creates inside of our heads. It leaves very little room for us to be present and in relationship with others in a way that is human, rather than robotic or purely functional.
Our massive lack of attunement to others (and to ourselves) results in a sense of aloneness or disconnection. In a world that is highly interdependent on and with other beings this sets up quite a predicament. It can feel like no one is there, that people don’t show up and that they don’t care. This makes us become super self-reliant, which at an extreme level makes it challenging for us to receive support when support does actually present itself, and beyond that we may even push support away. Also when we are not attuned to ourselves we feel disconnected from our own inner rhythms and from knowing what is going on inside of us. The only thing that seems to get our attention is strong physical sensations (ie. pain or hunger) or mental-emotional intensity, while the subtle nature of our being remains elusive to us.
While at our deepest level we desire attunement, it can also feel uncomfortable if we are not used to it, which many of us are not. Attunement is intimate. It sees you, but you must also allow yourself to be seen in order to fully receive that attuning. Most people have many layers of protection or defense that they place around themselves due to previous pains and hurts. Those layers become barriers to allowing ourselves to drink in the nurturance that attunement provides. So even if attunement is present often we can’t fully let it in based on the protection we’ve created around ourselves from previous experiences. Its like listening to the symphony with head phones on and ear plugs in. You may be able to hear some semblance of the musical harmony being offered, but there are layers in the way of you being able to fully hear and receive it.
ATTUNING, HARMONIZING & ENTRAINING
Into the heart
Attuning with, harmonizing or entraining (which are all the same thing) with another being allows for a shared experience when both beings are receptive to it. Attunement requires heart, presence and caring. If you don’t care or have desire for others than you won’t experience attunement with them. Seems obvious, but maybe not for all, as some people truly don’t see or understand why they don’t experience the level of connection with self or others that they desire. The field, intelligence and energy of the heart is what allows you to go beyond individual person into interconnectedness. Without heart there is separate individuated beings doing their own thing, which pretty much sums up a large portion of how our society thinks and functions. With heart there is a interwoven web of beingness all impacting itself, which is the next level of development for the beings on this planet to reach.
From time to time people express to me that they want more experience from their experience, whether on the table during a session or in their life with others (I find the two to be synonymous). They want to feel more or experience more, even if they don’t know what it is exactly that they to feel or experience more of. Others are more clear in their desire. They know they want to be more expansive, feel more connected, be more aware of subtlety or of their energetic nature, experience more inter-dimensionality, feel more loving, more bliss, more ecstatic, more open. The first thing I say is that it is important to get clear on exactly what it is you want in the first place. Put words to it. Begin to feel it already and notice where you might have even the subtlest amount of resistance, doubt or uncertainty around what you think you want to more of. These are layers or protection that interfere with you being able to attune and harmonize with your desires. The second thing I say is that our very nature is all of those things: open, bliss, love, and infinitely deep and expansive. There is no lack of open, ecstatic bliss because it is what you are. It is not a destination to get to, but a realization of what you already are. Notice where you put your “wholeness” in the future, where it seems unattainable or where you feel undeserving of it. These are more layers that create interference. Lastly I say that all of those things desired are found in the heart. Opening into love for self and love for others is a portal into having the ability to connect to all levels of yourself and all aspects of other. This provides the capacity for attuning to others and the willingness to be attuned too, which at our deepest level we are all starving for.
Attuning, harmonizing and entraining is the core of all relationships. There is no real relationship without them. There may be practicalities that get carried out, but no real connection occurs inside of a relationship without the capacity and willingness for attunement. While practicalities are important they are not the juice of life that make us come alive and feel that life is worth living. Instead relating, community, connection, interconnectedness, and the play of the heart are what lights us up. This is where we forget all the things we thought where so important to remember, figure out, heal or know. We forget about all the stuff we think we want to get and all the places we want to go. We become present. We are here. Infinite energy, possibilities and connection live here now.
Dr. Amanda Love