Attempting to Find Perfection
ATTEMPTING TO FIND PERFECTION
Restless endeavors to arrive
So often we are attempting to find the perfect state. That state of being where everything is calm, we feel rested, and things are in their place just as we’d like them to be. This state of perceived rested completion gives us permission to feel settled and peaceful. Yet most of the time life is in flux and motion. Pieces and parts are moving, things are changing and growing, and perfection seems like a far off distant place. During such rhythms we may feel tired, heavy, or experience a sense of overwhelm, chaos or out of “control-ness”as the shear amount of activity continues and continues without a seeming end point. We tend to perceive these rhythms, which are predominant in our experience, as something to get through, or a work in progress, rather than seeing the perfection that already is inside of them. We strive to get somewhere so that we can give ourselves the permission to feel a sense of completion.
While it’s often not our deliberate intention to strive to arrive somewhere rather than be present with where we are now, it is how most people operate. We have been deeply conditioned that there is somewhere to get. Most minds have trouble believing other than this as they project a future that sees potentials, possibilities and desired outcomes. Within this projection there is a restlessness with what is here now. That restlessness is sourced in a perception of lack, the belief/feeling that something is missing, something that we feel needs to be or that we want to be present. Due to our perception that lack is, we become restless. We find ourselves wanting to feel complete or a sense of completion, yet the lens that our mind looks through is one that sees what’s not. This perception of lack is the root of all of restlessness and our attempts to find perfection elsewhere in some other moment or circumstance.
Due to the fact that most people base their state of being and the lens they choose to look through on the circumstances that are showing up in their life, it is easy to attempt to find perfection through making all the stuff look or feel right. If things are messy or not where we want them to be, or if we feel tired, heavy or have other various sensations in our body, we often match our state of being to those things. What most people don’t realize is that they get to choose their state of being despite whatever is showing up in their life or body. Simply because you are tired or experiencing certain sensations in your body doesn’t mean you can’t be present, or that anything is wrong. Simply because something hasn’t manifested itself physically into your direct sensorial experience doesn’t mean that anything is lacking in you or in life. When you get this you see that is doesn’t matter at all what’s happening or not happening because you arrive in the present moment that is fully complete and abundant in and of itself.
It’s in your hands
The only thing that stands between you and a sense of rested completion (aka presence) is the perception that anything should be other than it is. When you stop insisting that what is appearing should appear differently you experience the peace that passes all understanding. All restlessness is an inner battle. The battle being the conflict in the mind of what it wants to see, and what it perceives it is seeing that is other than what it wants to see. It has nothing to do with the experience or appearance of things, and yet the mind projects out onto the experience its inner resistance of what is. It then appears to us that it is the thing that is responsible for how we feel, rather than us having any ownership in the way that we feel.
When we give away our power to the appearance of life we are easily swayed by our experiences. We don’t feel stable in ourselves and we don’t feel that what we feel is up to us. The bigger truth is that however it is that we feel or don’t feel, however it is that we show up or don’t show up, however it is that we are present or not, is entirely up to us. It is your decision to choose your state of being. Its not up to a sensation in your body, its not dependent on certain people being in or out of your experience, it doesn’t matter how much sleep you got, what foods you ate, how much money you have, how the stars are aligning or anything else. At all times you choose your state independent of the stuff of experience.
I suggest getting in the habit of deliberately choosing how it is you want to feel, be, show up and see yourself and the world each and every day. Without the deliberate choosing you will default to the state of being that is most familiar to you. When instead you consciously choose, you lift yourself through experiences that would otherwise bog you down and where you might attempt to get through it rather than be present. When you choose your state of being in this manner it is easier and easier to not want to get anywhere other than where you are, and to sink into your experience. This sinking into your experience allows you to feel the completion that is here now in this moment despite what the appearance of the experience looks like.
As much as we try we can’t force life, we can only learn how to participate with it. To listen and to be guided as to how life wants to move through us. Like I say often, this life isn’t about us. It isn’t about our dreams, desires and ideas coming into fruition. While I believe it’s our responsibility to follow the call of our soul and act on our dreams, desires and ideas, it is not up to us to force them to happen in any particular way. There is an infinitely aware universal intelligence at play and we are part of the orchestration of much that is outside of our mind’s limited awareness. Our learning is in faith and surrender. Trust that all is well. Trust that you are perfectly playing your part. It could be no other way. All is well, all is perfect, now and forevermore.
Dr. Amanda Love